Journeys of the Soul

Moshe Feldman* grew up Reform in Manalapan, N.J. He began becoming observant after he graduated college, and early on in his teshuva journey experienced an open miracle that changed his life forever.

Moshe belonged to a close-knit group of five friends who met in high school and remained buddies for many years after. They called themselves the Roundtable. They were all Jewish, and none was raised observant. Three years ago, the first of these friends got married. John Shapiro* was marrying a non-Jewish Filipino girl, and the wedding was to be on Shabbas. Moshe and his friends decided to take a ten day, 500-mile road trip from San Francisco to Newport Beach, Calif. for the wedding.

Among the members of the group, Moshe stood out like a sore thumb. He described himself then as “the quintessential flaming ba’al teshuva. I was unshaven and righteous, wearing a khaki paperboy cap like that of a European immigrant, tzitzit hanging over my Levi’s jeans and a gold chai hanging around my neck.”

Moshe tried sharing his newfound observance with his friends, only to receive the harshest of abuses. They mocked his praying, yelled at him for bentching after eating because it delayed the trip, made fun of him for trying to say Tefilat Haderech in the car and even tricked him into eating shrimp.

“The irony was that we’d only been such close friends in the first place because we were Jews. There were deep, unsaid inexplicable bonds between us simply because we had Jewish souls, regardless of any affinity whatsoever to Judaism itself,” Moshe said. “Now that I brought Torah to the Roundtable, rifts of resentment began to form and the facade of our friendship began to crack. I honestly felt like a stranger in their presence.”

Before leaving on the trip, Moshe searched on the Internet for a Jewish community close to the hotel. The nearest synagogue was seven miles away, too far to walk. He decided to attend the wedding on Friday night, and spend the rest of the Shabbas by himself in the hotel.

After a week of abuse from his friends, all he longed for was a beautiful Shabbas experience. On Friday he planned to buy Shabbat candles, wine and food. However upon arriving in Newport Beach, he realized it was in the middle of nowhere. There was no place to buy the items he needed. His plans for Shabbas were doomed.

While two members of the group went inside the hotel to check in, Moshe stayed in the rental truck with the luggage and the fourth member of the group, Ian Butler.*

Suddenly, Ian pointed out the window.

“Hey, here comes one of your friends,” Ian said.

Moshe’s jaw dropped. A boy with a yamacha and tzitzit walked past, followed by another and another.

Moshe raced out of the truck. Inside the hotel lobby were dozens of observant Jewish teenage boys and girls. He ran to the parking lot, where tour buses were unloading even more frum teenagers.

Moshe approached a man with a clipboard.

“What’s going on at the hotel this weekend?” Moshe asked.

“NCSY is having their annual West Coast conference.”

Moshe said it was impossible to describe what he felt at that moment. NCSY, the largest Jewish youth outreach organization, just happened to be making their Shabbaton in the same hotel. Over 500 Jews from all across the United States and Canada had flocked to Newport Beach.

After roaming around taking in the scene, Moshe ran into the groom John and his parents by the hotel’s entrance. They looked completely bewildered.

“Did you have to invite your whole congregation?” John’s father asked.

A few minutes later Moshe met Rabbi Steven Burg, one of the organizers of the weekend who has since become the national director of NCSY. Rabbi Burg invited him to spend the entire Shabbos with NCSY, and to attend all of the meals, classes and festivities for free.

Shabbas was saved.

The Shabbaton was absolutely beautiful. The meals were delicious, the spirit was uplifting and the classes were inspiring. One session was about the significance of studying in Israel. Moshe had thought about someday visiting there, but had never before thought about going to a yeshiva.

From the sudden turnabout of events Moshe gained a newfound appreciation of G-d’s involvement in the world and a commitment to grow in his observance and knowledge of his religion.

Before the trip Moshe had received calls from Rabbi Elazar Meisels. Rabbi Meisels was trying to recruit him to attend the Sinai Retreats, a ten-day program in upstate New York which teaches Jews about their heritage. Each time he called, Moshe declined saying he was too busy looking for a job. Now when Rabbi Meisels called during the week after the road trip, he jumped at the chance.

The program picked up where the NCSY Shabbaton left off and Moshe grew in his excitement for Torah study. When a Rabbi at the Sinai Retreats approached him to ask if he would like a chance to learn in yeshiva in Israel, he immediately agreed. That was three years ago, and he has remained studying in Israel ever since.

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Michael Gros is the Chief Operating Officer of the kiruv organization The Atlanta Scholars Kollel. The Teshuva Journey is a monthly column chronicling amazing teshuva journeys and inspiring kiruv tales. To share a story or send other comments, email michaelgros@gmail.com. To receive the column via email or see back issues, visit http://www.michaelgros.com

*Not his real name.

(published in The Jewish Press November 1, 2007)