Journeys of the Soul

For one leading HIV specialist and ophthalmologist, the kindness and love for others that he witnessed 35 years ago from an Orthodox doctor has influenced the way he has lived his life and treated patients ever since.

Mark Paris, MD, grew up in New York in the Fifties, surrounded by plenty of Jews but little Judaism. He traveled down south for his education, first to Tulane University for college and then to the University of Tennessee in Memphis for medical school. It was a time when segregation was still rampant throughout the South, and many doctors had separate waiting rooms.

During his fourth year of medical school, he was working in a hospital in Memphis and noticed one of the pathologists, named Manny, walking around with a yarmulke on his head. He also noticed the incredible respect and warmth that Manny gave to every person he met.

“He used to sit and drink tea with the housekeeper. I noticed this guy treated everyone the same. He didn’t treat the cleaning lady any worse than his boss. He told me it was because he was religious,” Mark said.

Mark spent much time with Manny, and routinely joined him for autopsies. The doctor radiated an incredible degree of care and concern for everyone he met.

“He told me everyone was created in G-d’s image and you have to treat everyone with respect,” Mark said. “He was very intellectual, a smart guy. He realized he could be a great professor and could still sit and drink tea with the housekeeper.”

For Mark’s last three months of medical school, he did a Tropical Medicine Fellowship in Costa Rica. For Passover, he and his family were invited to a local Rabbi’s house for the Seders. During the Seders, Mark sat next to the Jewish caretaker of the synagogue. Between the little bit of English that the caretaker spoke, and Mark’s minimal Spanish, the two men struck up a friendship. When the caretaker found out that the Parises were staying in a hotel, he insisted that they move in with him and his family for the remaining few weeks. They accepted. The accommodations were beautiful and Mark and his family were deeply touched by the caretaker’s hospitality.

“He basically said to me said it’s really terrible that my grandfather may have come from same shtetl as his, and we have to communicate with my broken English and his broken Spanish,” Mark said. “I thought it was amazing that he would do so much for me even though we’re not related. I decided I have to go find out more what it’s all about and why he would do so much for me.”

After the fellowship, Mark and his family moved back to Memphis for his internship. He spent more time with Manny, observing him and asking questions. He started reading all the Jewish books he could get his hands on. The doctor introduced him to other local Orthodox families, and within a few years of spending Shabbases in the community and studying with the Rabbi and other people, Mark and his family became observant.

Over his long career since then, Mark has traveled to distant corners lecturing, conducting research and treating patients. His CV reads like an almanac of third world countries. Among his travels, he was a Clinical Mentor in HIV in Lesotho, spent time in Peru participating in Malaria field studies and collecting botanical specimens for anti-tuberculosis drugs and has lectured on Snake Envenomation.

Mark is currently running clinics for people from third-world countries with HIV, TB and sexually transmitted diseases and also consults on medical projects in South America and Africa. For many of his patients, there is a strong stigma associated with being sick and taking medication, so Mark’s care and concern is a refreshing change.

“[Patients] know that I’m treating them the way I would treat anyone else. These are very sick people. All they want is someone to give them respect. The whole way I deal with people is based on my religious attitude.” Mark said. “If you’re nice to people, they all appreciate it, especially non-Jews. They have great respect if you have religious principles.”

Mark acknowledges that the compassion he shows his patients comes directly from his religious beliefs and the examples he saw from Manny and the synagogue caretaker many years ago. Mark witnessed their examples and built his life on the same principles. As Ben Zoma writes in Pirke Avot (4:1), “Who is wise? He who learns from every person.”

For Mark, his entire life has been one continuous process of learning from everyone he meets and passing on the knowledge and kindness to the next person.

“What I’ve learned from Judaism is that everyone in the world has something they can teach me,” Mark said “You don’t meet someone unless there’s a reason to do so. G-d puts you in a situation so you can learn something.”

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Michael Gros is the Chief Operating Officer of the Jewish outreach organization The Atlanta Scholars Kollel. The Teshuva Journey is a monthly column chronicling amazing teshuva journeys and inspiring kiruv tales. To share a story or send other comments, email michaelgros@gmail.com. To receive the column via email or see back issues, visit http://www.michaelgros.com

(Published in The Jewish Press in October 2008)