The Teshuva Journey: Igniting His Soul
For Robert lipanzer*, a chance question in college sent him on an amazing journey into his religion and deep into his family roots.
During his freshman year at George Washington University, Robert connected with a local outreach rabbi and began learning more about Judaism and growing in his religious observance. Towards the end of the year, Robert decided he was ready to begin putting on tefillin daily and asked the rabbi to order him a pair.
“How do you wrap your tefillin, in or out?” came the rabbi’s reply.
Jews wrap the strap of their arm tefillin either in towards their body or away from it, with the direction differing based on the place of origin of a person’s family and their religious group. The direction of the wrapping affects the type of Tefillin he would be purchasing. Robert didn’t know his family’s tradition, but knew that his grandfather used to wear them so decided to ask him.
Robert’s grandfather said his father taught him to wrap the strap outward and not to wrap it on his hand in the shape of the Hebrew letter Shin. Both practices differed from the prevailing customs of the Jews of Minsk where the family originated. Robert’s grandfather didn’t know why their customs were different.
Robert began to wonder if these were Chassidic customs. Besides the way to wrap his tefillin, the only other family custom his grandfather remembered were unique tunes for the Passover Seder. Robert began researching his family and the community of Minsk in depth. He started learning Chassidic texts and was deeply drawn to them. He began learning and growing more, especially towards the direction of Chassidism.
“I knew I had found the path for my soul. Chassidus spoke to me,” Robert said.
Robert contacted a Chassidic rabbi in Monsey, New York who used to live in Minsk. Robert was hopeful that maybe he knew more about the Jews of Minsk and possibly even his family.
Robert called him. Not only did he have a lot of information on the Jews of Minsk, he said the maiden name of his aunt’s mother was Lipanzer! Her family had come from Minsk, and yes, they were Chassidic. They were followers of the Koidenover Chasidic dynasty, which Robert found out later had been a large group in White Russia and Lithuania before being decimated in the Holocaust.
Robert was overjoyed. Maybe he had found a long-lost relative. Because of his interest in Chassidism, the potential that his family was Chassidic also made him ecstatic.
Robert spent the Spring Break week of his senior year in Monsey. He met the Chassidic rabbi and heard more about the Jews of Minsk. The rabbi also gave Robert the phone number of his sister-in-law, who was the wife of a Rosh Yeshiva of a Chassidic yeshiva and knew a lot about the family.
Robert called her. He explained that his great-grandfather was named Chaim Noach and he had lived in Baltimore.
“Uncle Chaim from Baltimore!” she exclaimed.
They realized that they were direct relatives. The woman also mentioned her grandfather “Zeide Yosef,” whom Robert knew as Uncle Joe. Robert had heard about Uncle Joe from his grandfather, but the families had lost contact with each other. Robert began signing the Passover tunes that he knew, and the woman said they were the same tunes used in her family.
She began filling in more details of Robert’s family. They were indeed members of the Koidenov Chassidic dynasty. She said that her grandmother, who was Robert’s great-great grandmother, had the coveted job of baking the 12 special challahs used at the Koidenover Rebbe’s Shabbat table.
“I couldn’t believe it. I thought maybe I would track down information linking us to a particular Chassidus, but to find frum cousins was beyond my imagination,” Robert said.
After graduating from college, Robert went to Israel to study in Yeshiva. On his first free Shabbat, he went to Bnei Brak to meet the current Koidenover Rebbe who is trying to rebuild the group in Israel. Some of Robert’s religious cousins in Bnai Brak hosted him and introduced him to the Rebbe.
On Friday afternoon he went to meet the Rebbe. Robert told the Rebbe about his family and that this great-grandfather was a Koidenover chasid. The Rebbe quoted the verse “v’dor har’vii yashuvu ad hena” –“and the fourth generation will return here” (Bereishis 15:16). Robert’s soul felt complete. Here was a direct connection to his family and heritage. More than that, he had found his direction in life.
“I had come home and received a royal welcome,” Robert said.
Over Shabbat, Robert davened with the Rebbe and ate meals at his table. He felt at home. These were his family’s customs and tunes. These were his origins.
Robert continues to be a devoted student of the Koidenover Rebbe as he helps him to rebuild the lost community and reconnect to his family’s traditions. And it was all because of a simple question from the rabbi in college.
“Imagine if the Rabbi from college did not ask me how we wrapped Tefillin. He could have ordered me a regular pair with an Ashkenaz [knot], yet his one question sparked a search which eventually ignited my soul,” Robert said.
————————————————————–
Michael Gros is the former Chief Operating Officer of the outreach organization The Atlanta Scholars Kollel. He writes from Israel. The Teshuva Journey column chronicles uplifting teshuva journeys and inspiring kiruv tales. Send comments to michaelgros@gmail.com
* Name has been changed
(Published in The Jewish Press in October 2009)